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I told my mother once that I was a girl when I was six years old, something I don’t think anyone who knew me would be surprised by, even her. My mother told me, matter-of-fact, that I was male and it could not and would not change. It was a one-and-done conversation, I remember. I didn’t feel ashamed, but I knew not to mention it publicly.I had no reference to pull from, no one else to use as a guide on how this should be brought up and how it could possibly go. I am still grateful to this day that I had a much more pleasant experience than many other trans people have had coming out to their families. Nonetheless I knew my confession didn’t feel exactly right. So like most trans women in their youth, I learned to express my gender identity privately. I always knew that I identified as female, a girl, a woman, because it was so early and innate and certainly not due to my environment or the Official nuggets congrats state of champs 2023 shirt In addition,I will do this way I was raised.

I wanted to be liked, and I wanted to look good and be courted romantically and be pushed on the Official nuggets congrats state of champs 2023 shirt In addition,I will do this swing in the same way girls were. I wanted the distinct femininity that came with girlhood but didn’t have the language or means to express that. So when I was told that I wasn’t a girl in black-and-white terms, I chose to push that part of myself deep into a place no one could see it. This was the ’90s, and homosexuality was becoming mainstream with prime-time shows like Queer Eye and Will & Grace. Taking cues from the people around me and the media at the time, I quote-unquote chose to be gay. That was more palatable, an easier way to live or at least get by. Yet whenever I was left to my own devices or could sneak upstairs away from prying eyes, I would slink into my mother’s walk-in closet, slipping my feet into heels from Prada and Manolo Blahnik. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, a show I’d absorbed by lingering in the room as my mom and aunts would watch.

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